Category Archives: Best advice from dads

Thank God He Picked Me

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“If you have one true friend you have more than your share.”

—Thomas Fuller

by Greg Hague

1971. I was a college grad with a dream. Clarence Darrow. Silver tongue. Courtroom master. So off to law school I went in Washington D.C. An attorney. That would be me.

First day. First class. The professor’s first words? “Look at the person to your left, and then to your right… one of you won’t make it past the first year.”

friends then

Bob and Greg then.

I looked to my right — there sat Bob looking at me. No doubt we were both thinking the same. At the end of semester, who would remain?

A liberal, bold, outspoken kid from New York. A far cry from conservative, Catholic, Republican me. I soon learned most of my classmates were from the east coast. To them, I was a bit strange. I felt the same about them.

The first week, a law student mixer was planned. Bob was there. So was I. Someone suggested forming two informal law student softball teams. A way to blow off steam when we weren’t studying to avoid flunking out. READ MORE 

Real Men Cry

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“Crying is cleansing. There’s a reason for tears, happiness or sadness.”
—Dionne Warwick

Today’s story is contributed by Caryn Payzant.

Some people want you to believe that real men don’t cry.

But William Coleman, my dad, has shown me that real men cry, are compassionate, thoughtful, and carry a hankie.

Maybe it was because before he was twelve years old, he was raised by a single mom. While she was at work, his maternal grandmother took care of him. Maybe it was because he married the oldest of three daughters. Or maybe it was because he had three daughters of his own.

real men cry

Caryn with her father William Coleman, 2013

Whatever the reason, my dad has always been able to tap into his feminine side. And, he’s shed more than a few tears along the way.

It can start with a sad movie, hearing about someone’s struggles, cheering for a favorite cause, or even while listening to the Star Spangled Banner. Ever so subtly, my dad’s lips start quivering and his eyes start to water. His voice will catch and then he’ll take a deep breath or two in order to regain composure.

I thought all dads did this kind of thing so I was never embarrassed by his actions. I learned from my dad that it was OK, even for men, to feel deep emotions and show tender moments of both joy and sorrow. READ MORE 

Draw A Wider Circle

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“Fear makes strangers of people who would be friends.”

— Shirley MacLaine

This story is contributed by Lori Holden.

My name is Lori. Today, I’ll share what may be the greatest life lesson in the history of humankind — spoken through the words of my Dad.

Want to have a richer life? Dad told us the secret early on…

“Draw a wider circle.”

A bit anticlimactic, you say? Well, few words can speak great volumes. Let me explain.

I grew up with two sisters. Sometimes we came home whining, “The other kids won’t play with me!” or “They’re leaving me out!” or “Nobody likes me!”

Dad would always respond simply…

“Draw a wider circle.”
draw a wider circle

Lori and her dad (both right) and family

He said it repeatedly, ad nauseum. Dad was big on aphorisms, but that’s another story.

He suspected that more often than not, we were actually excluding ourselves by making assumptions about others. He constantly reminded us that the other kids were scared of making new friends too, so we could choose to be the ones to approach them and join in on activities. Dad was determined to raise three confident and assertive young women. READ MORE 

I Said ‘No’ to a Boy at the School Dance

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“It’s better to be kind than to be right.”

—Bruce Redding

Today’s story is contributed by Laura Donovan.

Laura Donovan lost her dad early in life. But she’s never forgotten one lesson he taught.

Today she reflects back to a middle school dance…a boy who asked for her hand. She turned him down. When dad found out? Hold on… Not what she thought!

My parents were late for everything during my childhood.

school dance

Laura and her father Paul, 2005

When we lived in LA, I was always at least ten minutes late to elementary school. I was the last kid picked up at day care. My parents made me late for every birthday party to which I was invited. But my parents were never late to pick me up from middle school dances. They were held in the gymnasium every month.

Even when I’d give my parents the wrong pick up time, they figured it out, and often arrived ten minutes before the end of the event. This cut into the last few songs of the night, just when my friends and I had finally racked up enough courage to ask boys to dance. READ MORE 

Make Room for Daddy

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“All of us are born for a reason, but all of us don’t discover why.”

—Danny Thomas

Today’s story is about Marlo Thomas and her dad Danny Thomas.

Daddy’s little girl had exciting news. An A+ essay at school. But Daddy was on the road. So she read it to him over the phone. That conversation changed his life. And hers. And possibly yours.

Marlo Thomas

Marlo Thomas (right) and her sister Terre in 1969

Margaret (“Marlo”) Thomas has now grown up. She’s an actor like Dad.

Her dad — Danny Thomas — became a household name in his day. But it wasn’t always that way. He started his career touring small clubs as a comedian. He traveled extensively and was often away.

Marlo remembers:

“Because [Dad was touring] it was like having a long distance daddy a lot of the time. And he would always call us long distance, every single night… READ MORE 

Dad’s Shrimp Tempura

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“Self-reliance is the only road to true freedom, and being one’s own person is its ultimate reward.”

—Patricia Sampson

Today’s post is from Karen Austin.

The month before he turned 13, my dad became the man of the house. In February of 1951, his father died during gallbladder surgery.

Dad's shrimp tempura

Dad’s shrimp tempura

As the oldest of three boys, he assumed a lot of responsibility. He worked after school at the family jewelry store. He often made dinner while his mother worked late doing bookkeeping for the store. He joined the military to pay for college.

Because of the way he grew up, Dad learned to be self-reliant. To do things for himself. To be responsible for his own well being, happiness and success in life.

This example by Dad formed the foundation for how I now live. It’s the best lesson I learned from him. READ MORE 

Small Potatoes

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“What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear you speak.”

—Ralph Waldo Emerson

Today’s story is from Art Ernst.

During the Great Depression of the middle 1930s, my dad and his brother, Roy, decided to trade a bushel of my Uncle Roy’s potatoes for a bushel of Dad’s apples when they ripened.

Bushel of potatoes

Small potatoes

After visiting Uncle Roy and Aunt Edith one Sunday, as we started to leave for home, Uncle Roy said “Oh, by the way, I have your bushel of potatoes ready.”

Our car had no trunk so Uncle Roy placed them next to me on the back seat. I observed how clean and large were those potatoes. But, upon removing them from that bushel basket, we found smaller ones in the middle. When we got to the bottom, there was several inches of dirty, dinky little misshapen potatoes. READ MORE