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Bad Dads

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“Presence is more than just being there.”

—Malcolm Forbes

Essay compliments of Savvy Dad friend David Hirsch.

GOOD DADS

At times we don’t know what to do. But that’s OK. Our kids know one thing for sure. We care. We’re there.

Bad dads

Sad young girl

Making mistakes, too. It’s just part of life. It works out just fine. Why? Our kids know. We care. We’re there.

Tough love? It’s hard for us, hard on our kids. But it works out. Why? Our kids know. We care. We’re there.

Often we wonder. Are we doing it right? It’s hard to gauge. Until we read something like this about bad dads.

The words of a girl whose dad walked away. He didn’t care. He wasn’t there. It’s by Guadalupe, an 8th grader in Chicago, Illinois.

The assignment? Write a short essay on “What My Dad Means To Me.” READ MORE 

Animal Dads — The Good, The Bad, The Savvy

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“A happy family is but an earlier heaven.”

George Bernard Shaw

by Greg Hague

Animal dads. Human dads. Different in ways. A lot just the same.

Most dads face similar challenges. Wives who know more than we do. Kids who don’t have a clue. (They probably do. What do we know?) Some dads (animal & human) risk life and limb just to mate. And some — well, they’re just total flakes.

From awful to awesome, let’s take a look at a few animal dads. The good, the bad, and the savviest of those non-human heads of their home (or pack). We humans may not always do right, but hey — at least we don’t gobble our young with an un-fatherly bite.

The Good — Wolves

Animal dads, wolves

Family time with Gray Wolves.
Photo: Steve Jurvetson.

Wolves are playful, protective dads. They’re also loyal, loving partners. The usually monogamous alpha male may stay with his alpha she-wolf for life. The alpha male and female are typically the only ones who will breed in a pack, until the “crown” is passed on to a new pair.

During courtship, the young “lovers-in-wait” grow close and affectionate. They often play together, even sleeping side-by-side. As mating season approaches, their bond becomes ever stronger. READ MORE 

Shifting for Life

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“Planning is bringing the future into the present so that you can do something about it now.”

— Alan Lakein

Today’s story is from Stan Snyder.

My father taught me to drive a stick shift

Stan driving an ambulance

A typical day in the life of a teenage me. Dad and I doing battle. His goal? Make me miserable.

“You will learn to drive a stick,” Dad emphatically said. “You’ll learn, or you won’t drive at all.”

“What’s the point?” I protested. “I’m buying an automatic.”

(I’d saved up for years. A few blocks away sat a perfectly decent automatic sedan. My aunt had promised it to me once I’d saved up the money. Dad knew that.)

But my father wouldn’t let up… READ MORE 

Beauty & the Beast

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Today’s story is from Pat McMahon.

I’m sure you know the story of “Beauty and the Beast.” But what you probably don’t know is… I’m their son.

No, I don’t mean the couple in the children’s story. But, it would have been perfectly appropriate to call my parents Beauty and the Beast because that’s the way they talked about themselves.

Beauty is a light in the heart.

Pat teaching his dad Jack a thing or two, age 5.

You see, before my father and mother met and went into the entertainment business, my dad was a prizefighter — a professional boxer with over 90 fights. Back in those days, they didn’t check personal information very carefully, so he was able to get into the fight game when he was 14 years old.

He had a pretty impressive record too, but it was at the expense of his face — layers of scar tissue that built up on his brow, a nose broken so many times it spread in multiple directions. How he ever heard anything through the tiny pinholes of his “Cauliflower” ears is a wonder.

And then there was my mom, The Beauty. She was the essence of the song “Tiny Dancer.” Mom was a petite ballerina, a tap dancer, a skilled acrobat. READ MORE 

Ordinary Fathers

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“The abandoned infant’s cry is rage, not fear.”

—Robert Anton Wilson

Today’s story is by Pam Houghton.

For many years, I was a little sad and wistful whenever Father’s Day rolled around because inevitably, there was some article in the newspaper that celebrated a bunch of dads doing ordinary things for their families every day.

Pam and her dad, 1992

Pam and her dad, 1992

My dad was sort of ordinary, at least for a while. He built ice rinks in the backyard and burned piles of leaves in the street (back when it was legal) with a fearlessness usually reserved for Tom Cruise action movies. For a few years, that same bravado turned him into a star salesman, one who traveled and sold the type of stuff surgeons used in the operating room.

After my parents divorced when I was 12, he turned into the kind of dad who’d drop in now and then, with a showman’s flourish, then leave for months, or later, years without ever contacting us.

My mother raised us — three kids — alone. READ MORE 

Meticulosity

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“When most people are done, my work has just begun…”

—Aaron “Meticulosity” Greenlee

by Greg Hague

In 1960, I was just 12. Remember The Christmas Story? Little Ralphie. The Red Ryder BB Gun? I was obsessed. I had to have one. Grand visions of hunting with Chubby, my dad. One problem … it was July. Christmas was six months away.

I consulted the big man about it. “Well,” Dad said, “Aaron could use some help at the office. Let me see what I can do.”

meticulosity

Aaron “Meticulosity” Greenlee

Aaron was a gentleman in his 60’s. The custodian. The comedian. Cracking jokes with the agents. Everyone loved Aaron. His “office”? A plywood enclosure in the basement. His black metal desk… meticulous. Pens and pencils lined up like soldiers. The surface — polished to perfection.

Dad’s real estate office had cherry wood paneling and mahogany desks. So my first assignment from Aaron — wood polishing. I worked the entire morning. Polished every square inch of that wood. Aaron would be impressed. He would tell Chubby. A bonus for sure!

READ MORE 

Six Lessons I Learned From My Dad

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“Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterward.”

—Vernon Law

Today’s story is from Josh Linkner.

Six lessons from dad

Three generations: Josh (red shirt), his dad, and his son Noah (who will be 16 next month).

Robert Linkner was one strange dude. He forged his own path as he journeyed from hippie to psychologist to retailer to financial planner. He had a hilarious, dark sense of humor, was an incredible chef and had a series of oddball hobbies. He took pride that his tastes in music, travel, food, and life were always a bit different than the average Joe. His life ended far too early when we lost him to cancer in 2007.

It’s natural to miss your dad on Father’s Day, but this year I began to reflect on the lessons he taught me. Sometimes mysterious in his ways, I now realize he was quite deliberate as he instilled his philosophies in my sister, brother, and me. His wisdom has shaped who I am today, and there’s much to learn from his irreverent, non-traditional approach. READ MORE