Role Reversal with Dad . . .
Dying is not pretty, but can happen in a beautiful way.
That’s how Mike Goforth remembers his Dad, H.T.
Today’s story is from Mike Goforth.
That final year—diapers, long nights, treatments and all. We listened in awe. Sit down. Grab onto your heart.
Son and father, Mike and H.T. Goforth
“Dad was a proud figure as we grew up. A Navy man, he believed in honor, trust and hard work. He knew the meaning of tough. Dad was a disciplinarian to my brother and me. He was 100% fair, but our line was clear-cut. Step over the mark and we’d better watch out.
As I grew up, my father taught me much about life. Be strong. Stay true. When in doubt, just do what is right.
How could I know that his best would come last? Dad’s health had been deteriorating for some time. Mom could have taken care of him. She was young and still in good shape. But my father said no. He asked me to step in.
The baths. The feedings. Medicines all night. Dad’s body broke down more each waning day. I struggled to help ease his terrible pain. My heart cried. I could not imagine how hard this must be.
Dad was determined to live ’til the end.
Some of our very best times came close to the end. Like the laugh we shared—over a pile of you-know-what, no less.
Nearing his final days, Dad became incontinent. He lost all control. It wasn’t pretty. But each time I cleaned him, day after day, he’d angle his head and look back at me. With a glistening tear, rings under his eyes, a face wrinkled and strained, Dad gave me a smile like nothing you’ve seen. I cringed at the shame I imagined he felt. He was a proud Navy man.
One very tough day, close to the end, Dad could see how hard this was for me. He grinned with such love I still feel it today. Reflecting back to when I was helpless and young, he said,
‘Ever think at this age you’d be returning the favor, my boy?’
Every minute, as he came closer to death, Dad never stopped being a dad. Finally I knew. I realized why he chose me. It wasn’t to lift him in bed or clean up his mess. He had one last lesson to leave.
When the end was in sight, Dad could no longer write. Mom transcribed his final words.
I am honored to share his last lesson to me;
‘I’m proud of you, son. You are the husband and father I dreamed you would be. Take care of your mom. Take care of your wife. Make me as happy in Heaven as you have here on Earth. And never forget, You are a man ’til you draw your last breath. You saw me smile when I was hurting so bad. I’ve tried to show you this past year.
The test of a man is not the strength of his body. It’s the heart of his soul.'”