“Love is shown in your deeds, not in your words.”
—Fr. Jerome Cummings
Today’s story is from Mark Victor Hansen.
As co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series, I’ve had ample opportunity to write about my father. Oddly enough, though, I never have. I guess that makes me a man of few words, at least in this respect.
My name is Mark Victor Hansen. This is my story untold — a look back at my dad, and how I came to know him 20 years after he passed.
“Men of few words are the best men.” —Shakespeare
Mark and his dad, ready to ride.
He was a Danish immigrant. No academics. Broken English.
A man of few words. That was my dad. He worked as a baker through the Depression, earning pennies a day. He survived on leftover bread. Tireless work ethic. Simple principles. Just survive each day.
I was born in ’48. My three younger brothers soon followed. “The four boys,” he often said.
Throughout my childhood, Dad was consistent, stoic, as well. He never waivered, and seemed immune to self-doubt. While deeply caring as a man and a dad, he seemed unable to communicate how he felt. He would order the “what” without explaining the “why”.
“Do it because I told you to,” he would say, unable to articulate the purpose behind.
A man of few words. That was my dad. But what he lacked in vernacular, he made up by example. The pride of ownership always follows the pride of earnership. Dad taught me that.
As a kid, I sold greeting cards door to door to save up for a bike. Didn’t ride it for fun, though, like other kids. For me, a bike meant two newspaper routes, morning and afternoon.
I shoveled snow, cut lawns, and washed windows for extra money, too. This was over and above my regular chores at home.
Dad was big on the Protestant work ethic. After an 18 hour day, he would come home to help me rubber band my newspapers for the next morning. His example is the foundation I have built my life on.
Dad always said,
“You work for your freedom. The harder you work, the more you are free.”
A man of few words. That was my dad. But dad wasn’t simple minded. He had big hopes and dreams. For the four of us, and for himself, too (little did I know).
Mark and his dad, traveling together later in life.
He never played sports. Wasn’t a fan. A luxury he couldn’t afford as a kid. His only true indulgence was National Geographic magazine. Just a bunch of pictures of trees, I remember thinking. But dad would gaze longingly at the photos in the few rare moments of leisure he seldom afforded himself. And just a few years ago, I came to understand why.
I met esteemed psychologist Ronald Jue. His specialty — hypnotherapy. I scheduled an appointment. Couldn’t hurt, I thought. Just lying on a couch, right?
Before I could count back from 20, Dr. Jue had me in an indescribable state. I just felt “plugged in.” As if my mind and body were connected, at last. An alternative awareness. A pure, controlled consciousness.
Dr. Jue guided me to my father’s spirit. I could feel the love he had for my mom, for me, and my brothers. I could also sense his frustration in not being able to express what he felt. I marveled at his complexity of thought. His decency. His sensitivity. His longing to travel the world… and for us to do the same. Finally, I understood the depth of my father’s deep, sensitive core.
What did I learn of a father 20 years gone?
Men of few words can be men of great depth.
Some dads instruct by example. Their love sits deep in the heart. They are sparing of words.
It’s who they are. It’s how they give.
That was my dad… a very good man.
Mark’s parents doting on their handsome son.
Mark Victor Hansen is an American inspirational and motivational speaker, trainer and author. He is best known as the founder and co-creator of the “Chicken Soup for the Soul” book series.
What a wonderful tribute to an inspiring Father! Mark’s Father must be looking down from Heaven saying “Well Done Son!” “You Make Me Proud”! Mark continues to make all his family, peers and friends proud…Now I understand more his foundation for greatness!
Thank you Rita. We are very happy to share Mark’s touching story about his Father. We could not agree with you more, his Father is proudly looking down on his son. Mark is an inspiration to us all.