Feeling Uncomfortable — A Trade-Off
The first date. That big interview. A trip to strange lands.
This is about strain…and the chance for gain.
Our guest today is a new father, author, speaker and entrepreneur, soon a PhD. Jordan Jensen is a young man, an overachiever extraordinaire.
Jordan Jensen and his father
Who showed him the way? A quite savvy dad…a long ago time.
It’s a childhood story of fear. It’s a life message all kids should hear.
At 11 years old, did I ever feel uncomfortable on that camping trip? A week in the woods, the longest I had ever been away, a lifetime it seemed. I wasn’t making friends. I felt alone. I was out of place.
The sounds of the woods haunted me at night. Stones ground into my skin as I tried to sleep in that stupid tent. It was cold. It was wet. It was an uncomfortable place.
On the third day, a reprieve! My dad visited the Scout Camp to fulfill some of his leadership responsibility with the church. At long last, we were alone, hiking the riverbed. No scout leaders or kids in sight.
Now that I felt safe, I let them crumble—the walls I’d so vigilantly maintained with the others. I began to weep, barely able to breathe. I told Dad how miserable, how lonely I was,
“Please Dad, I want to go home. I hate this place.”
Dad listened patiently. I could sense his pain. Now I know that whenever kids hurt, dad’s hurt 10X. His hand on my shoulder, Dad said, “Jordan, you can come home if you want. But first please listen to this.”
It was college, Dad said. Long nights of studying. Strange kids so different from him.
Dad decided to return home to do what he knew—he’d be a grocery man just like his dad. He packed up his belongings and left. When he walked in the door of his home, his dad, my grandpa, pulled him aside. With unmistakable love granddad firmly said,
“Keep those bags packed. You’re heading straight back. Discomfort is the way you get ahead. You should search for uneasy, discomfort, for anything strange. That’s where you learn. That’s where you grow.”
Grandpa hadn’t gone to school. To him, those doors were sealed and shut. There was nothing wrong with running a grocery store. That wasn’t the point. His son could do more.
Dad continued, “Jordan, I had no choice. I returned and saw it through. I’m so glad I did. It resulted in friends, a Master’s degree, and surely much more…better than if Dad had let discomfort rule my life.”
Dad didn’t tell me what to do, but I knew. The next day, he drove home alone. I finished the trip. I’m so glad I did.
It may seem like a small thing—a homesick boy, a difficult time, seven days estranged from all he knew. But I learned so much on that trip, about nature, about myself, about life.
I’ve had many uncomfortable experiences since—serving a two-year mission for my church in a strange place a thousand miles from home. Completing an arduous PhD. Mustering up the courage to ask out the most enchanting woman in the room.
Last week, that enchanting woman and I (now my wife) welcomed a son, our first. Tucker will no doubt struggle through tough times. When he’s old enough, uneasy and scared; and complains as kids inevitably do, I’ll with love firmly say,
“Settle in. Get uncomfortable, my boy. That’s when you grow. That’s how you make a great life.”